How often during our lifetime has the question been posed to us, “Why don’t you just let it go and get on with your life?” This is probably equal to the number of times we have asked this of others or of ourselves. Usually this question comes when all of us have become weary of the endless practice of trying to do just that – to let it all go. Our mind chatter becomes incessant and, no matter how we try remains constant and continuous.

Letting go of anything means we no longer have an emotional investment in a particular outcome, usually having something to do with preference for a particular form. It is a process, however, and one that is happening for all of us all of the time. The word “process” denotes time, with a beginning and ending. The time it takes to let go of anything is commensurate with the level of our trusting that the process is absolutely perfect for our learning. What they are encountering is their process; what we are experiencing is our process – no more, no less. We have written our script, produced it, casted it, and directed it. Everyone in it is giving an Oscar performance.

The following is a four-part healing process that I have found works for problems that I experience, from the miniscule to the most severe, and everything in between. To summarize, the process is as follows:

1. Stop self-attack (never say “I shouldn’t feel this way.”)

2. Accept where you are (never say “I shouldn’t be experiencing this.”)

3. Pay attention to your reactions to other people’s behavior (ask your Inner teacher to help you see it differently.)

4. Let it go (this happens by default if you do the 3 steps written above.) 

Are you starting to see that each part builds successively. If you stop self-attack, you do accept where you are, and you begin to see things in such a way that you do not react from a hurtful place, and so the problem, which in fact we find out, was never in reality a problem to begin with, is released for you.

When we let go, we bring our healing process to a new level. With it, comes a deeper humanity and brings great passion and compassion to our lives and the lives of those we encounter.